Fear. Sexy, Sexy Fear.

This is a sidebar ad I found on a porn site.

This ad presumes that men are comparing themselves to the unrealistic, manufactured images they see in pornography. That’s also how Lulu comes to be idolized by the men in our play- they worship the image of her that each of them has in his own head.

But that’s not the best reason why this ad is so relevant. The selling point for a bigger dick isn’t to please your partner, but to make her afraid. Women’s fear is sexy. Unless you can threaten a woman with your penis, you need a scarier penis.

This ad suggests that despite how afraid women supposedly are of his penis, Ron Jeremy has a ton of sex with a ton of women. It suggests to whomever is consuming the ad that women like sex that is violent. Violence is sexy.

An ad like this works because men have a lot of unrealistic expectations and preconceived notions to deal with, and it's tough to navigate the world with a unique identity when society is telling you there's only one "correct" way for you to be. There is a lot of pressure on men as well as women to look and behave in a certain way- women are supposed to be skinny and passive while men are supposed to be big, muscular and active.  Men are "supposed" to be the persuers, not the persued. Men are supposed to be the one who humiliates, not the humiliated and not an equal. They're supposed to be the provider, not the provided-for, the keeper not the kept, the one penetrating his partner and never the penetrated. Men can tolerate it (but not actually care) when women get emotional but men should never express their own emotions to their female partners.

When someone takes all of those messages to heart, the final product is the aggressive, violent, horny guy with terrifying genitals. No one can live up to that, and really, who wants to? Mainstream porny culture shoves men and women into certain roles that people can enjoy, but no one really picks for themselves.