Jokes to tell over the act four card game?

What is the difference between a drug dealer and a hooker?
A hooker can wash her crack and sell it again.

What do a woman and a condom have in common?
They're both either in your wallet or on your d!ck.

What's the best thing about a blow job?
Ten minutes silence.

How is a woman different from a toilet?
A toilet doesn't follow you around once you've used it.

Why do women fake their orgasms?
Because they think we care.

Why do men have penises?
So we'd always have a way to shut women up.

More here, here and here.

Our characters are at least as awful as these people.

Any woman writing on the internet, especially if she writes as a feminist, will get disgusting/rapey/terrifying/nonsensical/hateful comments from dudes like the ones I've linked to below (ask me about mine!). They're out there. I've dredged the bottom of the barrel and found some disturbing stuff. Here's a sample:

This article was written by a man but published in a women's magazine, about why men prefer "innocent girls" to "bad girls." He literally compares women who aren't virgins to dirty black snow on the side of the road. That's definitely what Shwarz thinks sex does to people (especially women). It's also why Shöning would rather marry the Baron's pretty schoolgirl daughter than "whore" Lulu (though he doesn't mind fucking her). They put women into "buckets" of good girl you can take home to mom and bad girl you can fuck but not really care about. He also doesn't like women who know more than he does. Yikes.

This guy hates women so much, when he sees a hot girl, he starts to look at her as if she's a dangerous animal in the zoo to stop himself from wanting to have sex with her. (There's also a weird furry porn image of a tiger in a dress at that link.)

"When saying that you want to rape and cut up a woman with a band saw is met with the exact same reaction as saying you want to want to buy them a drink, what ... is the incentive to not be hateful and violent?" (Yeah, that's a direct quote.) This article links to a thread on a Men's Rights forum in which men just rant about their misogyny. One guy seriously traces his ladyrage to a time in the 7th grade when a girl said he had cooties. 

Here's an email some douchebro in a frat at USC sent out to his brothers. In it he talks about  "how to be an effective 'cocksman'" and says that "females are targets, not actual people like us." I get total frat-boy vibes from Rodrigo, maybe this guy is him.

I've posted all this here to show that there are people at least as awful as the Lulu characters in the real world today. All of the posts I've linked are only about a month old. Seriously! The anonymous message board is the place these creeps feel free to let their freak flags fly. Maybe treat the Lulu space like it's your internet. Lose your pants and drop a proverbial dump all over the damn place.

FL GOP Rep. Says 11-Year-Old Was Gang Raped ‘Because She Was Dressed Like A 21 Year-Old Prostitute’

Quote from the congresswoman:

There was an article about an 11 year old girl who was gangraped in Texas by 18 young men because she was dressed up like a 21-year-old prostitute. And her parents let her attend school like that. And I think it’s incumbent upon us to create some areas where students can be safe in school and show up in proper attire so what happened in Texas doesn’t happen to our students.

To recap: to remain safe, girls must not dress in a way that doesn't remind this woman of a sex worker.

No word to men not to gang-rape children.

Read the article here.

Eighteen Men Gang-Rape an Eleven-year-old Girl.

And this article about it in the New York Times:

• reminds us that the incident "destroyed" the small Texas town in which the crime took place.
• reminds us that it is tragic that the men will "have to live with this for the rest of their lives."
• asks the question, "where was her mother?"
• tells us that the victim wore makeup, dressed "like a woman in her 20s," and hung out with teenage boys on the playground in a bad neighborhood.

Maybe another terrible thing to turn into small talk- how these poor rapists now have to live with with this, and how an eleven-year-old girl was too tempting and deserved it, and how her mother should have been with her 24/7.

Basically, blame men's crimes on women, then feel pity for the consequences men face.

This is mainstream, respected journalism, not some wack-o misogynists in a message board somewhere.

From a flyer I found at Pittsburgh Action Against Rape

Things You Will Learn in the Healing Process

- Responsibility and blame for the assault/abuse always and forever belongs to only one person: the perpetrator.

- Nothing that you did (or did not do) provides adequate justification for sexual assault/abuse.

- The assault/abuse happened because the perpetrator chose to seek out or create a situation where he/she could attack without being caught. Sometimes he/she will set it up so that the victim feels safe and then takes advantage of the victim lowering his or her guard.


- Whatever you did in response to an assault or abuse, you did it to survive and to get through.

- The fight, flight or freeze response is something that happens automatically. All are instincts that we use to survive.

- Fight is when we get geared up to react; flight is when we try to get away; freeze is when we shut down, become frozen and immobilized.


- You must trust that whatever you did or did not do, served that instinct for survival.


- You are here; whatever you did or did not do helped to make sure of that.